My Whole experience

Last night, I went into town to the theatre to watch Contagion with a few people from the farm. After the movie, I went into Whole Foods which was next to the theatre. I went in to get a toothbrush and toothbrush sanitizer. Usually when I go into Whole Foods, I am enticed by so many other things, especially produce, and end up buying more than I intended. Yesterday, as I looked through the aisles for my items, I stumbled upon, yup you guessed it, the produce department, my old home for which I worked in for one year as well. There I stood, in front of the department, looking at what else I wished to buy and I just stood there, eventually, I heard me saying "Wow, I really don't need anything from here because I have what I want and what I don't, I don't need". Please, entertain me by reading about my conscious decision-making. So, why did I feel this way?
For starters, let me go ahead and clarify... I LIVE IN THE JUNGLE, literally I live in the middle of nowhere. The farm can barely sustain electric energy during heavy rains! My days are spent, well, working with soil, my hands are always dark from the soil I handle all day, I love it, I might never leave Maui. I work with food, I eat a lot of food from the farm, I make my own food, I make many different types of food, drinks, plants, etc. you get the point. I also thoroughly enjoy swimming in the pool, yoga classes, sun-tanning, watching sunrises and sunsets, reading, writing, making music, and so many other things than to just focus on all that I used to focus on back on the mainland, like going out... to go shopping, so not really going out, or going to buy things, again this didn't necessarily mean I was "going out" but like so many others, I would make sure I was "going out" but in this case I was really only the house to go into another indoors place and not enjoy going out and being out. So, really the thought of having to buy something somewhere that is enclosing to me because it is indoors and doesn't allow me to enjoy fresh air or sun-light well I really have issues with that now. Personally, I now feel impatient, a little anxious, and really deceived by going into certain shopping centers, only because I feel I have lived outside of this "bubble" that I used to live in back on the mainland. Maui has taught me this and I feel this lesson is a very valuable, personal, and insightful experience.
Another factor that led me to feel how I felt at Whole Foods, was really, as I mentioned earlier my current experience, where I am right now. It's not everyday back on the mainland that I was able to go outside, pick some tomatoes, onions, peppers, cilantro, and garlic and make real homemade salsa. I think the most valuable part of my experience here at Hale Akua is the DIY lessons. From making my salsa, to mixing it with rice to make my spanish rice to planting seeds and growing carrots, I feel very empowered in the sense that many foods that can be purchased I now know how cultivate and grow them on my own. This sense of knowledge is something I enjoy passing on and at a place like this, how can I not pass on recipes, tips, tricks, experiences? In the whole process of growing foods, caring for the land, and nurturing community I, as a farmer, feel very connected to another piece of nature for which I now cannot put a price or at least a ridiculous price on certain foods.
The idea of buying so many things seems so hurtful to our environment, now that I have learned and experienced so much. I cannot take my food for granted and so I would much rather help grow the food or help those growing food instead of the so to say, "middleman". Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, are just some examples of how businesses, all businesses not just supermarkets should do business, a more responsible and ethical response to traditional business models. However, there need not be a premium placed on food, nor exclusivity to groups of people who are able to afford healthy food and those who can't, Whole Foods and Trader Joe's in this sense contradict themselves by not giving the opportunity for everyone to buy good, chemical-free food. As much of a supporter as I am of organic food, I do support the claim for it to be expensive nor should it have to compete with "conventional" food just because of prices, the reality is capitalism has driven to think this way. I wish and hope everyone gets to at some point in their life experience what it is to grow food or how nice it is to work/trade not just for food but other necessities and in turn be able to recognize most of what we all "need" or consider things a "need" we have right in front of us and don't need to support a system many are hurting from.